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Authenticity Is More Than Being Nice

October 14, 20253 min read

In many organizations, leaders are encouraged to be nice. They avoid conflict, soften their feedback, and strive to be liked. While kindness has its place, equating niceness with authenticity is a mistake. Niceness alone does not create trust, and it rarely builds progress. In fact, it often masks avoidance of hard truths that teams need in order to grow.

Authenticity is not about pleasing others. It is about showing up with honesty, consistency, and courage, even when the message is uncomfortable.


Authenticity Requires Accountability 📝

True authenticity demands accountability. It is not simply about expressing feelings or opinions but about taking responsibility for how those words and actions affect others. A leader who admits a mistake but refuses to correct it is not authentic, they are simply transparent. Authentic leaders link honesty with responsibility. They follow through, make corrections, and hold themselves to the same standards they expect of others.

This combination of openness and accountability is what builds credibility. Teams trust leaders who match their words with consistent action.


The Hidden Cost of “Nice” Without Integrity 🫣

When leaders settle for niceness without authenticity, the cost shows up quickly:

  • Trust erodes because people sense a gap between what is said and what is done.

  • Conflict festers below the surface because issues are avoided rather than addressed.

  • Performance stalls as teams trade honest feedback for polite silence.

  • Morale declines as people realize they are not being challenged to grow.

In this way, being nice without authenticity does more harm than good. It creates the appearance of harmony while quietly undermining progress.


Why Courage Is Essential 🦁

Authenticity often requires the courage to deliver hard truths. Leaders must be willing to share when goals are not being met, when values are being compromised, or when behaviors are out of alignment. Avoiding those conversations in the name of being nice is not kindness, it is neglect.

Courage also means being open about one’s own struggles while committing to improvement. Vulnerability without accountability is only half the story.


Practicing Real Authenticity 🪞

Leaders who want to move beyond niceness can begin with a few deliberate practices:

  1. Clarify Values: State your values clearly and ensure that daily actions align with them.

  2. Link Vulnerability With Growth: Share challenges honestly, but also commit to doing the work of improvement.

  3. Invite Feedback: Authenticity means not only speaking truth but also hearing truth from others.

  4. Model Accountability: Demonstrate the same integrity and follow-through you expect from the team.

  5. Prioritize Progress Over Comfort: Choose alignment and growth, even when it means discomfort in the short term.


Authenticity That Builds Thriving Organizations 🌱

Authenticity without accountability is hollow. Niceness without courage is weak. The leaders who earn real trust are those who embody integrity, link words with consistent action, and take responsibility for outcomes.

When authenticity is grounded in courage and accountability, it creates stronger teams and healthier organizations. People know where they stand. They feel safe enough to be honest, yet challenged enough to grow. That balance is what turns leadership from a performance into an act of real influence.

Adam Seaman is the founder and CEO of Positive Leadership. With over 25 years in leadership development, coaching, and organizational consulting, he has worked with leaders across industries to create practical, strengths-based tools that drive measurable change. A Gallup-Certified CliftonStrengths® Coach, Adam was among the first certified to teach the CliftonStrengths® methodology.

Adam Seaman

Adam Seaman is the founder and CEO of Positive Leadership. With over 25 years in leadership development, coaching, and organizational consulting, he has worked with leaders across industries to create practical, strengths-based tools that drive measurable change. A Gallup-Certified CliftonStrengths® Coach, Adam was among the first certified to teach the CliftonStrengths® methodology.

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